


unfathomable

by herillusion



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herillusion/pseuds/herillusion
Summary: He was dressed sharply in a dark suit, a girl hanging off his arm, and he looked tired in a way his wide grin and expansive gestures during conversation didn't obscure fully. Or maybe that was just to me, still attuned to him after all these years.





	unfathomable

“Loki, are you sure-”

“Yes, Thor,” I replied in a long suffering tone, having been asked many variations of that quite a few times during the car journey here.

“I'll be fine, I'm not a kid anymore. Go on, then.” 

It took me rolling my eyes and pointedly turning my back before I heard the sound of the car engine revving up and finally turning back up the road. I loved my older brother, but he didn't get me, not really. Saying I was envious of him wouldn't be inaccurate – he was going to be spending the summer with his girlfriend and her family, while I would be stuck at what was essentially a camp for rich kids, since I didn't exactly have anyone willing to take me in. I pretty much didn't have any friends, period, a fact which Thor was endlessly bemused by. He was frequently exasperated over my pranks, and I sometimes resented the fondly indulgent air he took towards me, but mostly I was grateful to have someone unreservedly on my side no matter what. Blast Odin for deciding it was time to take Frigga overseas to 'renew their romance'. My mother never opposed my father's decisions, and as relieved as I was to have the chance to spend some time away from his oppressive presence, this wasn't exactly my idea of fun. Damn them, I thought bitterly, on their insistence that I wasn't yet mature enough to look after myself.

Just one foolish mistake when drunk, and they were convinced my judgment couldn't be relied on at all. Not that I had ever had much leeway even before that...Thor had been the golden boy, the favoured son, the one who could do no wrong in their eyes. A parent's love was meant to be unconditional, but that never seemed to apply to me: I never felt worthy no matter how hard I tried. Thor, the oblivious dolt, never even seemed to realise the differential treatment between us. Not that he would believe me if I pointed it out – he was older than me, yet much more naive in many ways. It wouldn't matter either way, it wasn't like he could really do anything to help even if he knew. That idealism that he could change the world just because he had the faith was admirable, perhaps, but it wouldn't go far. I was knocked out of my thoughts as a boy with an odd goatee stormed past me, knocking over my suitcase without even bothering to apologize. I glared after him resignedly, not having the energy to shout and demand for one. This 'vacation' hadn't gotten off to a great start – I could only hope things would improve later on. 

I found out that the boy's name was Tony Stark during the brief introduction we had to do, and apparently he was some genius at engineering. He didn't look too pleased to be here either, lapsing into a sullen silence when he wasn't brushing off friendly overtures from various people. I didn't expect Stark to approach me afterwards.

“Loki, wasn't it? Sorry about the other day.” 

The apology seemed rather out of the blue, but I shrugged, a tacit acceptance of it. No point holding a grudge over something so insignificant, it wasn't as if I needed more people who hated my guts.

“It's fine, Stark,” I said, somewhat dismissively, since it wasn't as if his actions had done much to endear himself to me as of yet. I would be surprised if he wasn't just one of those spoilt entitled assholes, a title I frequently got accused of myself. I noted with some curiosity his slight flinch at my use of his surname, and his immediate correction.

“It's Tony. Look, you wanna hang out sometime? You don't strike me as one of those...” 

He waved vaguely at the slowly dispersing crowd, some of whom were still lingering around, obviously trying to listen in on our conversation. I smirked, conceding his point, and agreed. This strange overture of friendship was unexpected, and it wasn't like I had anything else to occupy me anyway. I reckoned there was no harm giving this a go. He did manage to displace my initial impression of him. He wasn't the nicest person, that was for sure – but that suited me fine. I didn't want to have to cope with someone who looked at me with judgment in their eyes every time I said something which didn't fit in with what they thought acceptable in polite society. Having to censor myself just to avoid disapproval wasn't my idea of fun – probably part of why I got in so much trouble. Thor would likely have the exact same problem if he wasn't so _likeable_. No one ever tried to pick fights with _him_. 

His well built body and highly defined muscles probably acted as an additional deterrent. Not that I couldn't defend myself if I had to, I just didn't look the part. I didn't enjoy spending time at the gym like he did, the only exercise I did was running. It cleared my head. Anyway, it wasn't that me and Tony just clicked wonderfully or all that crap, but I gradually came to realise we were alike enough to understand each other, at least. He didn't mind that I wasn't a great conversationalist, and I couldn't help but be relieved when he didn't seem to expect me to be cheery and upbeat either. That sort of behaviour was more Thor's cup of tea, he was always nagging at me to 'not go around with that gloomy face all the time!'. He put up with my moods and I with his – he would let me brood, curled up on my bed with a book on my lap without trying to drag me out into the sunshine like Thor often did 'because it's not healthy for you to spend all that time cooped up in your room, brother!' 

Even with all the time we spent together, I didn't actually know much about Tony, other than unlike me, he was an only child. He didn't seem keen to speak about his family, and I did him the courtesy of not prodding him about it. Me, being considerate – father wouldn't have thought I had it in me, I thought to myself sardonically. We played the occasional prank on others, too, had ever since I had oh so casually proposed it on a rainy day when both of us lacked entertainment. I had mostly expected to get shot down, for Thor had never agreed, finding my jokes distasteful though he chortled just as heartily as everyone else at the end results. Tony practically jumped at the idea, though, with a glint in his eye suggesting I was going to have a more active participant in my mischief than I had planned on the off chance that he said yes. With him, I was able to accomplish more sophisticated tricks than I had ever managed on my own, and as we stood howling with laughter in the parking lot, heady with our success, I wished our time together would never end. 

Inevitably, it did, of course. We exchanged contact details, though I think even then that we both knew we wouldn't make use of them. He was wonderful with technology, but electronic communication – it just wasn't us. We would meet again if fate decreed, I told myself. As I turned to walk out of the room, he caught at my arm to stop me and then fit his lips to mine. Sexuality hadn't been a matter we'd ever discussed, but my response held no hesitation. I nibbled at his lower lip a little as we parted, breathless, and that was the last I saw of him, till 14 years later.

I'd discovered a passion for writing that hadn't won me any points with Odin – it wasn't exactly a lucrative career, after all, and didn't even offer a stable income. I got by well enough, even without ready access to my trust fund because father hadn't wanted it 'wasted on something useless like this'. I ran into Tony at one of those fundraiser dinners I barely ever went to. I had only gone this time because I had caved in to my mother's pleading about how our family should show a united front for once. He was dressed sharply in a dark suit, a girl hanging off his arm, and he looked tired in a way his wide grin and expansive gestures during conversation didn't obscure fully. Or maybe that was just to me, still attuned to him after all these years. 

His greeting to me as he distractedly shook off the girl seemed packed with mixed feelings – doubtless he was wondering as I did if the odd connection we had formed back in our youth had survived. It had, I learned, as he poured me a scotch in his penthouse, revealing that his parents had passed in a car accident not long after we first met, and the lady who had been with him was his personal assistant.

“Pepper's a godsend, honestly, though I have to be a nightmare to cope with. What're you up to, then?”

He snorted at my answer, though not derisively.

“Do I feature in any of your stories, then?” I suspected the words held a double meaning - it was asked mockingly, yet with a strange tinge of sincerity underneath. In answer, I just leant forward to kiss him, reversing how it had played out back then. I didn't know if this would work out – he didn't seem like one for commitment, and I hadn't had any serious relationships myself, but I couldn't let go of this chance to explore the chemistry we had between us further. We could discuss the details further in the morning, I thought, as I tugged at his buttons hastily, reveling in the encouraging noises he was making.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this sometime ago but didn't know how to continue it, but upon rereading I figured it would do fine as it was. Definitely more to be expanded on, but I'm not sure how to write it so you get an open ending of sorts.


End file.
